Forum Description > Message Boards | Post Abortion Pain | SafeHaven Ministries

Welcome to the SafeHaven Forums

Welcome to SafeHaven's message board. We invite you to post your questions, comments, and/or abortion/crisis pregnancy experiences. Our staff of volunteers is willing and eager to support and encourage you without judging or condemning.

SafeHaven is an online peer support group. We are here to support, encourage, and "be there" for each other. Those who have found healing are able to give hope to those who seek it. And for those of you who are in crisis, please don't be afraid to reach out. If you don't wish to post, feel free to email us privately.

SafeHaven is your community. Please use it. We care about you. You don't have to go through this alone.

YOU MUST REGISTER A USERNAME TO POST AND REPLY TO MESSAGES. YOU WILL FIND THE REGISTRATION LINK AT THE TOP RIGHT HAND CORNER OF THIS PAGE. ALSO, WHEN REGISTERING YOU WILL BE ASKED FOR YOUR FIRST AND LAST NAME. PLEASE UNDERSTAND, WE DO NOT NEED OR WANT THIS INFORMATION, YOU ARE WELCOME TO USE A NAME SUCH AS "JANE DOE" OR SOMETHING SIMILAR. IF YOU HAVE ANY DIFFICULTY OR QUESTIONS, PLEASE CONTACT US AT HELP@POSTABORTIONPAIN.COM.

IF YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY POSTING A MESSAGE AFTER REGISTERING, PLEASE EMAIL US AND WE WILL BE ABLE TO ASSIST YOU.

Click below to complete a confidential registration survey. Thank you!

SafeHaven Confidential Registration Survey

Unanswered Active Topics

Forums Search

Forums > Discussions > Off Topic Forum

Subject: Forum Description

Prev Next

You are not authorized to post a reply.

Author

Messages

brucebacon User is Offline

Posts:4

12/18/2008 3:37 PM
I read the description for this forum and it reminded me of a question I've had for awhile because it mentioned 'pregnancy after abortion'. Because the odds of someone reading both of my posts are slim, let me preface this real fast. My girlfriend has had an abortion. Before she was not with me at the time. And now we're very serious and I'm looking to put that behind me as much as possible. She was around 2 months pregnant and I've read as much as I needed to about exactly what happens, because she won't talk about it. But my question is, will we be ok when we want a family? Physically, what are some things to worry about with her body; and mentally, what should I expect from her in a few years when we are ready for that? Any help at all would be greatly appreciated.

Nancy

Posts:59

12/19/2008 10:45 AM
Hi bruce, welcome to Safehaven. Yes, I have read both of your posts in entirely. I am not a believer in odds or luck or chance. How long has it been since the abortion? If it is recent, what you can do right now is be very encouraging to her to take care of her body. To follow post ab instructions if it was that recent or make and keep a followup appointment. She doesn't need to have a follow up appointment at same place she had abortion if she now has an aversion to going there. It is very important to attend to herself physically with a healthcare professional. If she does go somewhere else it is best for her to be completely honest with the healthcare professional so that person can be clear on any issues that may need her attention. Many women have abortion and come through without physical problems. I am one. I had an abortion and went on to bear three healthy sons with no abortion related complications. The best evaluation of her health is by a professional. I am not a professional counselor, I am a woman who has been there, my opinion is that it is a wise and prudent to take time to address healing mentally/emotionally/spiritually before becoming a parent. All stand to benefit frome the healing process.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. -Jesus

brucebacon User is Offline

Posts:4

12/19/2008 11:21 AM
It has been about two years for her, so it is kind of past the immediate effects I assume. I was just wondering, all emotional matters aside, what the long term physical effects are, and how it would affect her mentally to conceive another child a few years down the road. I'm glad to hear that alot of women don't have those problems. It is not as if we are married yet, but we have talked about it someday and I like to plan far ahead and prepare for the future. So I guess if I understand you right, I will just wait until we get closer to that time for us to talk to her doctor about her body and make sure she is in the right state of mind. I know this thread sounds objective and cold, but that was kind of my intent. I was just looking for medical fact and what to look out for. If you can't tell, I really know next to nothing about abortion because I never thought it would affect me. Now that I am with her though, it does affect me and I am trying to learn as much as I can. I have found it hard to get real information, besides statistics and arguments, without asking real people. Thanks for your input.

Nancy

Posts:59

12/20/2008 10:45 AM
After two years, yes, the immediate physical effects are past. There are any number of possible physical effects. Sometimes women neglect regular checkups because going to the OB/GYN reminds them of the abortion. Sometimes women are afraid they will not concieve because they feel that God may be punishing them. Sometimes the experience of concieving and being pregnant triggers a lot of emotions she has put aside or buried in order to avoid. It is my opinion the best thing you can do is gain and education about abortion and post abortion syndrome. Check out the resources, read the books. In your relationship, refrain from telling her what she ought to do and be and say. Be the safe person for her who loves her without judgement. God gave me a dear friend who was such a person to me. She loved me before she knew I had an abortion. She loved me after she knew I had an abortion. She listened to all my words I had to say. She held me when I sobbed. She prayed with me and for me. She brought me to someone who could help me. She never, never judged me. She never drew back in horror. Study the love chapter in 1 Corinthians. Let the Father teach you how to love through her. This will be a priceless lesson.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. -Jesus

You are not authorized to post a reply.

Forums > Discussions > Off Topic Forum > Forum Description

ActiveForums 3.7

Please take a moment to take our confidential survey!